THE POLL!!!!!!!!!!!

The Horseman: Jack Mustang (Stereotypical I Know)

​Let’s start the stories off right! Let me tell you about The Horseman, Jack Mustang. 

Where to start… ah ha! He was a formidable fighter, he specialized in CQC and Close Ranged Weaponry. Unless you were quick on your feet and adaptable you would be killed, but I still kicked his ass! Even fed him to his ‘precious wittle babies’! He had this pack of wolves he spoiled rotten, often neglecting his own children. Especially my friend Jim, who he would regularly forget even existed. Now that I think about it, he’s more of an Old Alabama Cowboy than a pirate. Anyway! ONWARD TO THE TALE!

It was a nice day, the sky was clear and the breeze was warm. Me and my crew were celebrating our most recent victory against a literal fucking Kraken, I’ll get to that one later, when our scout yelled from the crows nest “SHIP NORTHWARD BOUND!” Of course no one really paid any attention to it, why would you? It just ruins the mood of the party. But when giant ass crossbow bolts start to hit the ship, you start paying attention.

As we loaded our cannons, the ship got closer. Close enough for my friend Jim to immediately tell it was his father’s, and when he told me this my eyes literally lit up! Jack Mustang, Owner of the War Horse (which is the name of that ship btw), had a bounty of 27.9 million in USD on his head. Seeing as I was the captain of my glorious crew, I decided to pursue his stupid cowboy ass! I wanted to get us a nice cherry on top for that victory sundae, also I wanted the money because ITS A LOT OF FUCKING MONEY!

“We competed in epic sea faring combat! While crossbow bolts flew we returned fire with double the cannon balls! By the end of the 7 hour battle both our ships were severely damaged”- is what I would’ve written if my first action wasn’t “IMPALE THAT MOTHERFUCKER! FULL RAMMING SPEED!” 

This went exactly to my plan as when the ships collided I got flung straight into the ships captain’s quarters and onto Jack, who was spoiling his dogs, putting the fear of god and confusion into him. The ensuing scuffle made the wolves back away as we made our way to the ship’s deck. 

On the deck, we backed away before circling the other. He pulled out a machete while I took out a silly little pocket knife, to style on him, before we met at the middle and clashed blades. As our blades clashed, the rest of my crew went ahead and started taking out his subordinates (funnily enough called Wolves). They killed most of them but we lost Jim to one of the wolves, the animal. Anyway, back to the main fight.

We fought till the sun was setting, him sustaining way worse injuries then me. We then backed away before I just threw my knife at his neck, which was surprisingly effective as it hit him between the eyes and he crumpled to the ground. I was hoping for the neck but life goes on. As his body lied there dead, I walked over and took his hat before leaving the ship with all of his treasures and weaponry. 

To be completely fair this could be written a teenie tiny bit better, but it’s definitely better than most of the unintelligible garbage written these days! Now, who do you want next for a story? Answer when I figure out how to make a poll! 

-The Magnificent Demon Sea Rabbit, Bunbun U. Bonniebel III ESQR!